I Hate Church
Posted: Saturday, August 15, 2009
by Jon Searles
Religion will always be a focal point of debate as long as man has breath on this earth. Ironically, when he or she no longer is able to express their opinion in the religion debate, they will know if they were on the right side or wrong side of the argument. An interesting sub topic of debate has to do with membership in churches. For years I have heard people use terms such as "hypocrites" and "fake" to describe people in church congregations in their reasons for not joining. They have pointed to specific and many times heartbreaking examples of why they may not go to church. The vast majority of the experiences expressed to me have been the result of others within the church family causing the bitterness or avoidance in a person's decision not to join or participate in a church. It may have been something someone said, something someone did, the fact that the sermons were boring, you were forced to go by an older family member, or a bad experience that prevents you from walking through the doors of local churches for worship and fellowship.
Recently a story from a church we attended for over 8 years hit me as a reason that many at that church will more than likely not return. A long standing member and deacon of the church who I would call a person friend during the time we lived there was arrested and sentenced to 7 years in prison for the same type of scam that put Bernie Madoff in the national spotlight. He even preyed upon some of the people in the church. If we had still been living in the town, I can tell you we would have NOT stopped attending the church. We would have still worshipped and sang in the sanctuary. We would have still loved and cared for this man's family during his ordeal and we would have been there if they needed us for support. Year's before I had taught two of his sons in Sunday school and even hired them where I worked. When I was younger, full of a little more of self righteous indignation and new in my faith, I would have gathered my family and moved church membership. However, I came to a realization in my faith that prevents that behavior. The main thing I realized is that I was not at church to worship the people or place them in an elevated status. I was not in church to condemn the lives of others or judge their indiscretions and sins. I was in church to worship God and be a family of support for his children that visited the church. We were there to love one another, warts and all, as the family of God.
Since we moved to New England we have found it difficult to find a new church home (Christian speak for a new church to join) because those that we have visited have not been as comfortable as what we had left. This is our problem, not that of the churches. The people are pleasant, and welcoming, but truth is, we miss a family of believers that we grew to care for and love and it is hard to replace family. You do not have to join a church to be a Christian, but it is a great place to learn more about Christ. Michael Vick did not have to be the member of a team to be a football player, but it sure helps his cause and makes him accountable when Philadelphia offered him a job. We miss our family, but our focus on the worship of God is still of utmost importance. We will find a new church home and join a family of believers focused on worshiping God and not on allowing the trials, indiscretions, and sins of others cloud what is truly important.
Paragraph two in this article was harsh and pointed. The words were intended to inflame some of you into finding fault in my interpretation of your church avoidance. If however, you found that I hit the mark with the words, let me know. For my words that only served to hurt you, I ask your forgiveness, but my hope is that I made you think. Some may say, you should not express yourself so harshly because you are a Christian and your Bible says do not judge others. You miss the point, do not let what I say form your opinion of Christianity for you are falling in the same trap that keeps so many from walking through the doors of our nation's Christian churches. We search for friends outside our immediately family to care for us and love us.
We crave human interaction and acceptance. Cults, extremists, and zealots know this and use it to push their cause. We are talking about buildings and organizations where you are free to come and go as you please. If you can't freely come and go and express a respectful opinion without fear of banishment or personal attack, I warn you, you are in the wrong building.
Where ever you may find a comfortable and loving environment, remember it can be found in a church and once in church, maybe without you seeing it coming or searching for it, worship could happen.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Hi Jon.I don't go to church because I don't feel the need to go to church. I'm very good at forming my own opinions about life.I didn't take any of what you said as judgemental, but I do think that attending church is not for everyone and that their reasons for staying away, whatever they are, are probably just fine.My home is my church. The wide world is my church. When I sit with my cat and rub her belly, I am praising life. Washing the dishes is like a prayer.My mother was one of those who decried the C and E'ers, as she called them. The members of our congregation who only attended services on Christmas and Easter. But I always thought that at least they were being honest about it. And for all she knew, they could have been more pious than she. The practice of religion is indeed a touchy subject. And there are so many different ways to go about it.I don't believe that I am any more right than the next person in my beliefs, but I know that I am right for me.I have to admit that your title is what got me to read this article, but it is somewhat misleading, don't you think.Well, anyway, thanks for a thought provoking article. Really.Respectfully,DiannePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Dianne,Yes, it was definitely misleading. I have met and am related to incredible people who never joined or attended a church. I just felt the topic needed a little shaking up since lately I have had this discussion with several people. It was brought to the surface because of my friend's recent prison sentence of 7 years. He will miss his church, and it is too bad he wasn't listening. Thank you for reading and I apologize for the deception.Take care.Please log in to respond to this comment.
I know some of our political leaders go to church for the cameras. However those who go to sing hymns and praise the Lord I have a deep respect for. I myself do not attend church services but I do believe in God.Please log in to respond to this comment.David,There are many that believe in God that do not go to church. Currently, I am one of them. It is a personal choice and will always be. I just like to shake up the conversation a little. Thank you for reading.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Jon,
Yes, I believe it is personal just as our relationship with God is personal. I agree with you and like how you stir things up. I enjoy praise, worship, fellowship and being in service to Him. For me, doing these require attending church more than occasionally but regularly. And it also requires being a participant and not a spectator when at church. I am not saying I can do these only at church. No, the church is in me and so is Christ.
I stumbled on this article and I'm happy I did, Jon. I hope you and your family find a new church home soon.Please log in to respond to this comment.Avis,I served as the interim youth leader, teacher, and as a ordained deacon in my home church. It was an enjoyable time. I guess my service time is a little on hold until we find a church again to call home. I always have found my most moving worship in music and personal prayer. Thanks for reading and stumbling into this.Please log in to respond to this comment.
church can be good socially but they do not preach all the truth some of it is made up as they say things that are not said in bible (early bibles)Please log in to respond to this comment.
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