Automated Phone Systems- Matrices of Confusion
Posted: Monday, May 26, 2008
by Jon Searles
"Thank you for calling the National Center for Phone Frustration our office hours are 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday for general information, press 1, for a directory of our 3000 employees, press 2, to talk to a real person press 3 and you will be immediately disconnected from our phone system."
There was a time when real people would answer the phone with a "Good Morning" or another greeting appropriate for their business. They would direct you to the proper person for your question or concern and your time would not be wasted as you tried to push the correct number that would take you deeper into the labyrinth of their phone system. Today we have been able to eliminate common phone etiquette with technology. A very slow, properly enunciating voice recorded previously will be the first impression you have of a company and in some cases the only contact you can make at the phone number you have been given. While most companies will tell you that the reason they have such systems is to "better serve our customers" it is really focused more on economics and time savings for the company at the expense of the customer. Having to pay salaries and benefits to real people to answer phones is more costly than the phone system purchased to herd calls through the gates where more automated phone instructions can be given and everything can be done to solve your issue without you actually taking up the time of an employee of the place you are calling.
If a study was commissioned to add up the time spent on telephones listening to the disembodied voices of slow talking computer generated voices I am sure that the amount of wasted time would be astounding. The phone companies and cell phone companies are the worst in embracing the technology of not actually having to have a living, breathing human being answer to phone. Software and computer companies are also over users of automated phone systems. In some cases you are finally routed to someone in a country such as India to answer the question you need understood. Try tracking down a computer problem with a customer service representative from your favorite software company. After 15 minutes of listening to automated menus and pushing the appropriate number you will get to speak to a heavily Indian accented man named Bob (not his real name which you would be unable to pronounce), and he will help you solve your problem. Bob is courteous, respectful and very hard to understand. I am not saying Bob should not be employed, but poor Bob must now deal with a frustrated customer who luckily cannot drive to Bombay, India to punch Bob in the nose for representing such a company.
A more honest and realistic approach to automated phone systems may be more appropriate.
"Thank you for calling, we have purchased this system to avoid actually talking to you. If you press 0 anytime during this message you will be told that is not a valid extension because we are on to your little game of trying to get to our operator which we laid off 5 weeks ago. Please listen to the following options because our menu has changed to further confuse you, our customer. Press 1 for general questions which will not contain the actual item you need, press two for a directory of names you will be unable to access without knowing the person's social security number and nickname, Press 3 for complaints that will immediately disconnect you" In an effort to get a point across and after 15 minutes of listening to a menu "..Press 15 to hear this menu again."
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Excellent article concerning really essential elements of society we should all consider. Years ago I was one of the culprits at the forefront of the creation of voice recognition and automated attending systems. However, we always knew to keep it short and allow the option of personal intervention. The good companies know this, the others, well it serves their true culture and perspective. If you wait long enough you will go away. Great article, thanks.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Jon loved the article and you are so right - I don`t know how many Bobs I wanted to punch too. What aggravates me is, when you are put on hold for what seems like forever listening to music of screeching violins - which may not be your cup of tea, only to have Bob interupt when the sounds you do love are played, it happens all the time.Please log in to respond to this comment.
hi jon, fear strikes whenever the electricity goes out, because i know i will have to call the electrc company and spend an hour or so playing games. motor vehicles is probably the worst, and you can never call the one in your town! thanks for a great article that we can all relate to, best regards, sue thomPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Great Article! I hate the phone systems but I realized long ago that profit is the main concern in corporate America. Customer service? That is just a phrase that employees are fed to have then fired if the system breaks down and someone needs to get blamed!Please log in to respond to this comment.
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