Helping Someone Can Feel Good or Make you a Naïve Idiot Driver for a Drug Dealer
Posted: Saturday, December 15, 2007
by Jon Searles
The area is a mixture of industry, low income housing, liquor stores, mission churches, and a well advertised strip club. I have been approached many nights as I leave work by men who are in need of financial assistance. Most of the time they request cash to buy food or money for bus fare. I am not naive enough to think they will actually use it for that purpose as the neon signs advertising alcoholic beverages shine prominently in the store windows. However, convincing myself I am not naive and that some day I will actually help someone, I give what I can. All of them promise to return to pay me back, but after several years, not one has returned.
My truck slipped and slid its way between the ruts that had not yet felt the fury of a snow plow' blade. As I turned left just yards from my highway on-ramp, a small man, who appeared to be Italian, about 30 years old, in a white hoodie and jeans flagged me down. I cranked down my passenger side window to listen to his plight. "Hey man, its freezing and I locked my grandmother's keys in the car. Man, she's 90 years old and I need to run back to my place and get another key. Can you give me a ride, it's just 3 blocks? We were eating at the restaurant around the corner"
Hesitating only briefly I unlocked the door. As I unlock the door I assessed the man's ability to rob me or worse based on his physical size and stature, which is all void if a gun is involved. He was about 5'5" tall and weighs a little too much. He was cleanly dressed and wearing clothing that it would be difficult to hide a weapon within. At 6'1" tall and 200 lbs, I wagered I would be more than he wanted to deal with and that he may actually need help. When he got in the truck he pulled out a few dollars and offered to pay me. That was an amazing offer and allowed me to let my guard down for the first minute of our trip. "It's the Christmas season, rides are free."
"Where do you need to go?" I asked
"Just to the end of Hamilton." he said
A government subsidized housing project was the only thing at the end of Hamilton and I was very familiar with its inhabitants. Most that have approach me in the past have come from the housing project.
"You don't mind pulling down there you know since the blacks live in there." His speech was beginning to get a little nervous and fast. He apparently made the assumption that because our skin color was similar I would be in the same mindset as he in regard to people of other races.
I wanted to begin a discussion on bigotry and prejudice and how all God's people are equal, but I could tell he was building in nervousness and agitation as we got closer to his engagement with what now was a guy meeting him with a key to his 90 year old grandmother's car. When my truck pulled into the housing project, two young black men hurried toward us in a way that appeared to be less than helpful and more hopeful. My passenger got out of the car and met then 15 feet in front of my headlights. I decided then that this was apparently a drug buy and sell and that I would leave quickly, but the ice and my tires would not work together. If I had owned a better car with better tires I would have left him to walk. He was back in the car in less than 15 seconds as my tires finally caught traction and I pulled back onto the street.
"Did you get your key?" I asked with an angry accusing tone. At that point I considered telling him to get out and walk, but the night was very cold and he would be a little guy underdressed for the weather in a tough neighborhood.
"Yeah. I got it. Did you see the way those guys ran up to me." He seemed even more nervous than before trying to assess my understanding of what I had just witnessed. "I think they thought I was someone else."
Occasionally my mouth gets ahead of my brain. "So, were you the buyer or seller?"
He looked at me like one of my kids who had just been caught in a scheme to trick me.
"Man, I don't do drugs. Those guys do, but I don't. Can you drop me on Williams Street ?" Which I knew was several miles from our current location.
"No, I will drop you back where I got you so you can rescue your 90 year old grandmother and her car." I responded with a slightly sarcastic tone.
The rest of the drive was quiet until we were almost there and he again offered to pay me for my trouble. I was already feeling like a naive idiot and did not want to add receiving drug money to my current situation.
When he left the car I fully expected an expression of satisfaction from my passenger at duping the bald headed Good Samaritan, but what I saw on his face may have actually been guilt and shame. He obviously was not the leader of an Italian drug cartel nor was he very proud of himself. Although what I interpreted as guilt and shame may actually be regret at not having a weapon to car jack the 2001 Nissan Frontier.
I yelled out "Happy Holidays and God Bless You!" as he closed the door and he nodded acknowledgement of the farewell. He walked away with his hands in his pockets and head down to block the cold wind which blew directly toward him.
I can't tell you I will not ever stop and help someone again. Only God knows if I will actually be a service in His work or a crime victim statistic in my attempt to be of assistance to those that appear to need help. One would hate to actually neglect someone who actually needed aid for someone faking the need. Truth is the individuals cheating and lying to get help need God's grace more than those that actually require help. If my motivation to help was simply so I could feel good about myself, I guess I would need to be more selective in my approach to helping others. Oh well, continuing on as the naive, bald headed, Good Samaritan isn't so bad. At least when I tell my stories to friends it puts a smile on their faces as they shake their heads and laugh at my apparent gullible nature and my night as a wheel man for a drug dealer.
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Top-level comments on this article: (7 total)What a beautiful story of grace. I have felt this way many times, but you know, it's not our job to make sure the person who needs help really needs it before we help. It is our job to respond to the call God puts on our hearts. Thank you for the wonderful reminder that helping others isn't about making ourselves feel good, what reward from God is there in that? I'm sure that seeds of God's love were planted in this mans heart, as another comes to water, surely it will grow. God bless you - you.. you, "wheel man" :-)Please log in to respond to this comment.
hi jon, i had to check the categoty after reading this story. i thought it might be under "hoaxes!" it's amazing what some people will do. at least he didn't offer you some!:) keep helping-there are more good than bad, even though it doesn't seem like that at times, great article, and well written, best regards, sue thomPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Dang, Jon. I'd say what you did goes above and beyond a regular help-a-neighbor session. Thanks for sharing your story.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Jon, I USE TO LIVE IN DETROIT. I MOVED AWAY FOR OVER 15 YEARS AND MOVED BACK FOR SIX MONTH'S. WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW NAIVE I WAS BUT, I WENT THROUGH THE SAME EXPERIENCE WITH A SISTER. SHE TALKED ME INTO GIVING HER SOME MONEY AND ON THE WAY TO MY MOTHER'S SURPRISE PARTY SHE ASKED ME TO STOP SOMEWHERE FIRST, SHE LEFT ME IN THE CAR FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES IN A SCARY NEIGHBORHOOD AND FINALLY I GOT OUT AND SEARCHED FOR HER GOING IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION I SAW HER LEAVE... I FOUND HER IN A HOUSE FULL OF PEOPLE SITTING AROUND AND ASKED WHERE SHE WAS... SOMEONE DISAPPEARED THROUGH A DOOR IN THE BACK AND A CHILD CAME RUNNING OUT AND SHE APPEARED A FEW SECONDS LATER DOOR LEFT OPEN AND A HAZE OF SMOKE AND OTHERS BEHIND HER.... I WAS SO @#$@#&*ED OFF AT HER AND MYSELF THAT I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THE POSITION I WAS IN. GOOD THING SHE HAS AN OVER PROTECTIVE NATURE WITH HER FAMILY. THE NEXT DAY I REALIZE, I MUST HAVE BEEN CRAZY! EVEN TO GET OUT THE CAR. SO, YOUR ACT WAS OUT OF GOODNESS, AND KINDNESS NOT BEING NAIVE...Please log in to respond to this comment.
Jon, Being a fellow New Englander now living in LA, I think I used to be more of the "gullible" type, but after living in LA for 14 years, I think I've become a little more leary of people. Not that I've stopped doing good, but I've found myself working with people more selectively. Unfortunately, that's how it goes. I don't even shine my lights at people who drive with them off because that's how would-be gang members select a target for initiation. You flash your lights, they come after you and shoot you to get into the gang. I have given a few dollars to a mom hanging outside a 7/11 or walking through a parking lot with her kids and no place to go; however, after giving my change to a man outside a bookstore in San Francisco, I asked him what he was going to do with it. He said, "Get myself a couple of cheap hookers and some booze." So I think we need to be selective to lessen the chance of good deeds going to waste. Jeff P.S. Love the title of your article. And say hello to all my friends and family for me. You actually even look like one of my mom's brothers. God bless and keep up the good heart. P.S.S. Don't worry about being "too long." Writing long is necessary at times. Just don't make it a habit. Variety is the spice of life. God bless again.Please log in to respond to this comment.Jeff, Thanks for the comment and the insight. I spent some time living in San Francisco Bay area and I know it too has its share of interesting people. I hope kindness to just one will allow them to pass it on to someone else. Who knows, maybe the guy I picked up has changed his ways and has started to help others. Only God knows. Thanks for reading.Please log in to respond to this comment.
It is interesting to see from this story that the habbits of helping and abusing other people's help are very much the same in every culture. It is the same in the Euroepan countries I have lived in, and of course I have been a stupid good samaritan several times too! Perhaps I should continue being one, as I think I have almost stopped reacting to such pleas for help. Thanks for the article.Please log in to respond to this comment.
hi great story i may of stol a cople of lines but i must say i only steal from the best keep it up .GREAT STORY KEEP GOING .Please log in to respond to this comment.
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