Call now and vote for "America's Next President"
Posted: Saturday, August 18, 2007
by Jon Searles
The Presidential Election, much like shows like “American Idol", “So You Think You Can Dance", and “ America ’s Got Talent" brings a huge assortment of individuals to try out for the ultimate prize. Many of the contestants are laughable at best and could not possibly think they have a chance, but yet whether it is a desire to be seen on television, a false sense of talent, more money than brains, or the desire to become the next William Hung, the American Idol who auditioned by singing “She Bangs" in a Chinese accent, all are serious about their desire to compete. What if, in an effort to save money and allow the American public to be more in touch with the Presidential election we turn it into a competitive reality show that anyone can try out for in major cities throughout the United States! People would have a chance to call in and vote for their favorite candidate and each week the show results will require one or more of the candidates to be removed from the show. The show could be open to all American citizens and they would be given a chance to compete if they make it past celebrity political judges. At the end of the season, which would last about 6 months instead of 2 years of campaigning, the winner would be sworn in and win a beautiful White House, great vacation spots, and get to meet powerful people for 4 years. To serve a second term they would definitely be asked to compete again.
The show will definitely need a catchy name and a memorable theme song. The name “Big Brother" is already taken and it is probably not a good idea to let the candidates vote each other off to avoid a Democratic or Republican majority in contestants. “American Idol" is also not available and would be a stretch of the imagination since respect for the current and many past Presidents has been less than idol worship. One would think that the television and media moguls could pick a name that would exemplify the spirit of the competition. “ America ’s Next President" may be easy to remember and the theme from “Jaws" might be a catchy tune, although the Three Stooges theme song would also be a nice prelude to the evening.
It would be entertaining to put the top 20 on an island for a while and see what type of “Survivor" type challenges could be given and what type of alliances would form. “Survivor- Catacombs of the Capital" would be exciting with candidates left to navigate the corridors and passageways under the capital building, wearing only Native American attire. Senator Fred Thompson and John Edwards competing in loin clothes on the marble floors on the sub-basement that connects the offices of the members of Congress with the Capital dome, trying to see how many people the could persuade to be on their side on whatever issue is appropriate.
We could easily come up with weekly challenges like “How would you handle a hurricane disaster?" or each could be asked to seek treatment for a chronic disease in major hospital without carrying proper health insurance. A particularly fun segment based on “Dancing with the Stars" that would require each candidate to learn a ballroom dance with competing partners drawn from a hat could be part of the show. You may think that Hillary Clinton is the only woman to dance with but yet in a country that is always debating same sex marriage what would be the harm in John McCain, and Barrack Obama learning how to foxtrot or tango together.
The weekly format possibilities are endless and our country could possibly see record voting. People would know candidates names, backgrounds, and the hardships overcome to reach the big show. No chads, no voting machines, no red and blue states, just our cell phones and dialing in each week and pushing the right number for your candidate. The media would still have plenty to discuss and report, but they would find it much easier to follow the candidates. The runner could even become the Vice President! What other show offers this type of positive uplifting reward to second place?
Our celebrity judges can be picked from ex-presidents and vice presidents. George Walker Bush, Jimmy Carter, Dan Quayle, and Al Gore could be our first group. Bill Clinton would be disqualified during his wife’s tenure as a contestant, unless of course she is voted off early and he can be a guest judge. We would use members of Congress but with so much arguing, back room negotiations, and recesses, our show would be stretched from 1 hour each week to a telethon. A good looking host with a great smile and quick whit would need to be cast. Your host each week needs to be impartial, understanding, respectful, and a friend to all the contestants on the show, oh well, it sounded like a great idea.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Jon, What a riot! Hey, you've got something going here. I have to admit, it's all pretty silly at times. Thanks for poking fun at politics.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Hey Jon, Write back once in a while! Take care.Please log in to respond to this comment.James, thank you for reading. I know I am terrible at responding. Reading the articles by other has been enjoyable. I always want to respond with something thought provoking or gracious, but many times the best I can do is "Thanks for reading." I have always enjoyed writing but I tend to write it down and hide it away. Through this website I have been a little more bold and with politics they way it is, it is an easy target. Well, here it goes, thanks for reading!Please log in to respond to this comment.
I enjoy your articles,like the idea for the ex-presidents, but I say turn Simon loose on 'em., then wait for the "people to vote", lol.Don't we "elect" online anyway? The media is always telling people to go to their website to express "their view". I think they're trying to prime people to vote online, using these reality shows to test the waters, jmo.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Great article! I think the loin cloth competition might be the answer to the immigration problem. It certainly would encourage viewers to turn off the idiot box and dust off their books; or find their way back to the libarry, lib-ery? ... The place with the free dvds. Any way we can scale back the BS is good. Keep up the good work KMcPlease log in to respond to this comment.
hi jon, what a whitty day you had when you wrote this article. it is filled with great stuff. the funniest part is, it sounds like a great idea! i wonder if any presidential candidates read searchwarp! great article, best regards, sue thomPlease log in to respond to this comment.
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